


Team Estrogen

by ThePeaPodinthePumpkinPie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-24 06:58:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8362072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePeaPodinthePumpkinPie/pseuds/ThePeaPodinthePumpkinPie
Summary: What would it take for an Academy-age Sakura, Hinata, and Ino to give up their boy-obsessed personalities?  What would it take to get them to take their training seriously?  And what would be the repercussions of this?





	1. Chapter 1

1.

Haruno Sakura ran up to Uchiha Sasuke as he was walking off campus for lunch one day. They were in their final three years at the Academy. Sakura had just broken off her friendship with Ino, begun competing with her, and grown out her hair recently, and she was head over heels for Uchiha Sasuke. She’d even begun dieting, another indicator of her physically altering her appearance for him. She acted properly girlish and suppressed parts of herself because she thought that was what he would like.

Everything was tailored toward getting attention from Uchiha Sasuke. She’d broken up with her best friend for him. She’d grown out her hair and begun dieting for him. She acted properly weak and girlish because she thought that was what he would find most appealing. 

Sakura was desperate for recognition from Uchiha Sasuke. She would never admit it, but a part of her was still that tearful bully victim of years before. More than anything, she desired recognition from the boy who was at the head of the social sphere. He could do anything, she thought, and she would take it. Sakura believed fiercely in true love, in doing anything for love.

He could act like a horrible person. He could insult her. He could say he didn’t like her. He could insult her ninja abilities and ask her to change them. And she would do it. She would follow Sasuke anywhere, do anything for Sasuke, anything that would make him happy. She knew Sasuke didn’t notice her. She knew Sasuke would never on his own invite her anywhere or take an interest in her. 

But this did not change her feelings. She still daydreamed about him. She daydreamed of a really shy guy who would notice her if she was good enough, if she brought herself to his attention enough. That was all, he was just… very repressed. She looked at his handsomeness and saw soulfulness hidden deep down inside him. And by paying him attention, she would bring the goodness out of him, and gain recognition.

This was what she told herself. It was recognition she was desperate for.

So she ran up to him that day, and she smiled shyly and blushed, offering him a clumsily handmade lunch. “Sasuke-kun,” she said, “I made you lunch. Do - do you want to eat together?”

Ino-pig (as Sakura now called her former friend) was inside talking to one of the many girls she was friends with, leaving Sakura an opening while her rival wasn’t present. Sakura may be an ugly bookish nerd, she may not have as good physical grades or as much popularity as Ino-pig, but, she thought slyly, there were certain advantages to that.

Sasuke turned to her and stared at her for a moment. “No,” he said at last, and she slumped, disappointed but her love unfazed. Inner Sakura told herself she could handle rejection, damnit! Anything for true love! 

But Sasuke continued to look at her, and there was something in his eyes that was almost like pity.

Sakura misread the pity as repressed feelings and hope rose within her. “Are you sure?” she asked excitedly. “Because we could -!”

“Look, Sakura,” said Sasuke abruptly, “no matter what you do, I’m never going to recognize you. I have no interest in you. That’s not me suppressing something else. It’s me being honest. My lack of interest in you is not going to magically change if you give me enough gifts or sit next to me and try to talk to me enough times. I’m not interested in romance and I’m not interested in you. There’s not going to be any recognition here. Okay?”

It was the longest he’d ever spoken to her, and she should be happy, but instead Sakura’s heart froze inside her chest. No recognition. Those were the magic words. Not hiding anything. No recognition. That thing she was looking for? It didn’t exist. She just… wasn’t worth noticing. It didn’t matter how she looked, or what she did. It had… all been for nothing.

Never had Sakura felt so disenchanted.

Sasuke walked off and left her behind without a second thought. Sakura stood there and watched him. Watched his back fade into the distance and disappear.

The lunch dropped.

-

Sakura watched Sasuke longingly, often, in the following days. She deliberately sat next to him, watched him, looking for something… some sign that he’d finally noticed her and talked to her for a while. That was good, right? Some sign of recognition.

There was none. He continued to ignore her, to be cold and distant. Nothing changed, because for Sasuke, she realized, nothing ever had. It had always been like this for him.

There was no further interaction with Sasuke.

Everything… the diet, the long hair, the breaking up with and insulting of her best friend, the constant trying to get his attention, the suppression of true parts of her personality, everything she put up with… it had all come to nothing.

Sakura’s determination broke, and she fell into a deep depression, the kind she never thought she’d find her way out of.

-

All of a sudden, Sakura fell out of the race. Yamanaka Ino should have been triumphant, but instead it unnerved her, made her oddly uncertain. It was good, wasn’t it, that Forehead Girl (as Ino now called her former best friend, picking on her most sensitive feature) was no longer paying attention to Sasuke? That she no longer had a rival for his affections?

But the way Sakura was suddenly acting was disturbing. Her hair grew ratty and lost its luster. She began bringing bigger lunches to school, but picking at them. She was silent, bent over her notes in class. She never raised her hand, and she never talked to Ino or Sasuke again. She was alone, isolating herself.

What the hell had happened?

Still, Ino chased after Sasuke. She saw him as handsome, talented, and popular - in other words, everything she desired in a guy. She continued trying to flirt with him, seduce him, and touch him, even though she knew he seemed to find this uncomfortable. She often found out where he ate lunch and hid nearby so she could watch him, unnoticed.

Ino was determined that Sasuke would eventually see her obvious merits; her resolve was solid. She was beautiful and she was popular, and she knew it. Obsessed with makeup, dieting, her hair, and getting other people to like her, Ino was pretty sure she had all she needed to successfully seduce a guy. She was the leader of her group of popular friends and she looked hot. Who wouldn’t like her?

Ino became more and more forward, more and more confident and triumphant as Sakura fell further and further behind… and it all came to a head one day.

Ino snuck up behind Sasuke before class, wrapped her arm around him and rubbed herself up against him, leaned close and whispered in his ear, “Hey, hottie.”

And Sasuke, who didn’t like to be touched by strangers even on the best of days, who came from a culture where this bordered on assault, freaked the fuck out.

He jumped, yanked himself from her grasp, and whirled around, irate, in the classroom. “Will you stop doing that, Yamanaka?!” he snapped.

Everything went dead silent. Even Ino’s popular friends were now watching the show. It was Ino’s worst nightmare.

“W-well -” She laughed nervously. Sasuke’s glare was quite fearsome when he wanted it to be. “H-hey, Sasuke-kun -”

“Look, I know you see me as this prize to win, but I’ve got to admit, I don’t give a shit how popular I am,” Sasuke snapped. This was the first blow to Ino’s image of Sasuke - it was the sort of thing Shikamaru or Chouji would say, the sort of thing that was so totally, totally uncool. “You’re not being flirtatious or appealing. What you’re doing is called creepy. You’re essentially stalking me!”

Ino at last got indignant. No way would some asshole get away with saying something like that to her! “Hey! Stop being a dick, will you?!”

“What about you? You’re misguidedly obsessed with your appearance and your popularity, yet you’re a totally weak ninja. Yeah, you get good grades, but what actual abilities do you have? You’re more in line with some civilian vying with the matchmaker than you are with a strong kunoichi.”

Ino stood there, face burning, totally floored.

“I don’t like you and I’d never go out with you,” Sasuke finished. “So buzz off, okay?” He stalked away.

Ino walked slowly back to her friends, shell-shocked and numb. She missed the way Sakura was staring at the spot where the scene had taken place with wide eyes. She missed the the way Sakura’s final image of Uchiha Sasuke had just been crushed.

Ino’s popular friends were significantly less sympathetic.

“What are you doing here, Yamanaka? Why don’t you go back to the matchmaker?” one jeered, and they all laughed loudly. And Ino stood there and realized - a few minutes ago, in their place, she would have done the exact same thing.

“Fuck all of you!” she spat, and rushed from the room in the surprise that followed. She stumbled into the bathroom, bent over the sink, gasped out deep breaths.

Yamanaka Ino had come to the realization that she did not like herself. That popular, appearance-obsessed people weren’t nice. She had also realized that without Sasuke, Sakura, and her popularity, she did not know who she was.

-

Hyuuga Hinata, like everyone else in class, knew what had happened to Yamanaka Ino. She felt sympathy, though she was too shy and timid to say anything. She saw the way Ino now sat apart from her friends and everyone else, silent. She saw the way Sakura and Ino no longer competed, or fought, or bickered.

This meant that, instead of Sakura and Ino, she appeared in class first one day - they had not raced, competing with each other, ahead of her.

She walked through the classroom doorway and a bucket of blue paint fell on her head. And Naruto, her crush, stood there, pointing and laughing at her. She felt humiliation well up within her.

Hinata had kept her crush on Naruto through a lot of things. He had embarrassed himself, looked weak, looked stupid, acted crude and crass, sometimes unknowingly insulted her, and ignored her. Her feelings hadn’t changed. She continued to watch him from afar, too timid to interact with him but constantly following him around, unnoticed.

Hinata had kept her crush because she had a very certain image of Naruto, very concrete reasons why she liked him and wanted to be like him, why he took up all of her thoughts and her life. She saw him as optimistic, sunny, determined, and kind.

But there was nothing sunny or kind about the way he was laughing at her humiliation right now.

Once he was finished laughing - she just stood there and took it - he breezed out the door. “And I’m done for the day,” he sighed. Obviously slacking off, which was not determined at all.

“N-Naruto-kun - why -” Hinata forced out.

Naruto revealed his determined lack of optimism and took a glance at her face. He grinned. “Come on, weird, quiet girl, it was just a joke. People suck. It’s about time you learned that.”

No optimism, no kindness, and certainly no determination. “Weird, quiet girl,” he had called her. He didn’t even know her name.

Hinata felt fierce anger well up within her. She slapped Naruto across the face. There were several gasps throughout the classroom. He stood there, stunned. Hinata stormed away. There were snickers after her as Naruto stood there, puzzled. This was something he did every day.

Naruto stared after Hinata. What was her problem?

-

Hinata curled up under a tree on campus and collapsed. She began rocking back and forth, miserable rejections, from her family and her crush alike, running through her head. “No,” she kept pleading, hands over her ears. “No, no, no, no, no -”

One of the Academy teachers had to find her and carry her to a table in the medical ward. She lay there, dazed, staring at the blank white ceiling and mumbling to herself.

Hinata, like Sakura and Ino, did not understand at the time - sometimes you have to break in order to grow and be remade.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Sakura spent long weeks languishing in a state of deep depression. Where did she go from here? She had no person to turn back to, no person she had been before Sasuke. First she’d been a bully victim, and then she’d always relied on someone else for inner strength - first the ever popular and confident Ino, and then Uchiha Sasuke.

So now what? Without those people, who was she?

She ate even less than usual, slept very little, and went from activity to activity blindly. Get up, be nagged by parents, go to school, go home, do homework, go to bed. She went through the moves robotically. Even Inner Sakura was silent. It was as if someone had set fire to her insides and there was nothing left.

Then one day Naruto, of all people, came up to her.

“Hey, Sakura-chan!” He grinned. Sakura had always found Naruto obnoxious, but now she just sort of stared vacantly at him. “Why are you so weak now? Do you want to go on a date with me? I bet I could cheer you up!”

Naruto was the class clown, the ruffian, a bit of a loser. He was the exact opposite of Sakura’s type: loud and flirtatious. But for a fraction of a second, she considered it.

And then she realized what she was thinking. Naruto. She was honestly considering Naruto. Just to have someone to be with who didn’t make her feel like shit about herself. This was how low she had been brought.

And out of the ashes and rubble, something rose up within her. It broke slowly through the coating of black dust inside her mind - rose higher and higher - it was a new and improved, much angrier Inner Sakura.

And then in an explosion, Inner Sakura became Outer Sakura, bursting out of her, and she punched Naruto right across the face and sent him flying. “I’M NOT WEAK, DAMNIT!” The whole class heard her, but Sakura did not care. She stood there, breath heaving and fists clenched, glaring.

Haruno Sakura was tired of this bullshit. Haruno Sakura wanted to get strong.

-

It started for Ino when she realized she’d been falling behind in grades. 

For a while she hadn’t noticed it. She’d been too busy dwelling. She closed herself off, watching her former crappy friends morosely, comfort eating and letting her appearance go to shit and not even caring. What did it matter? What really mattered, anymore?

Then she looked at the sheet full of grades posted one day and her eyes widened. Once she had been at the very top of all the girls. Now she was somewhere in the middle, falling slowly down the line.

Ino’s pride was hurt. She realized she did have one thing left - her pride as a good kunoichi.

She remembered what Sasuke had said. That she had no significant skills. His words had been replaying back for her a lot lately, and they really bothered her. Ino was at her bossy best when she thought she was awesome and better than everybody else.

What was she now? Weak. Just as Sasuke had prophesied.

Well Yamanaka Ino was tired of being weak. Yamanaka Ino was going to prove all those people who’d made fun of her wrong!

Her hands clenched into fists and she stalked off, glaring. Yamanaka Ino was not going to go down in history as a footnote, as a weak kunoichi.

-

Hinata was empty of all feelings, all fire, all ambitions. They had been wrapped up in Naruto, and now they were ruined. She was back to what she always had been - the weak and unwanted child, an empty, timid shell of a vessel inside a body.

Still, because of the medical ward incident, the Academy made her see a school therapist. Hinata was soft-spoken and timid, saying little, and it took the therapist several weeks to get her full story out of her: the dismissal by her father, Naruto saving her from the bullies, her crush on Naruto, and how that fiasco had ended.

“I don’t have anything left,” Hinata admitted, her voice trembling. “Nobody wants me.”

The therapist was thoughtful. “But when you admired Naruto, even though you never talked to him, you felt you had somebody?”

Hinata nodded uncertainly. “I-I looked up to him. I had someone to aspire to,” she explained clumsily.

“May I recommend something, Hinata?” Hinata looked up slowly, with a very little bit of hope. “Take that image you had of Naruto, and put it inside yourself - and try to live up to that standard. You don’t need an actual boy there to copy and mimic. 

“You can just have qualities you want to live up to, and continually strive to achieve those qualities.

“So, Hinata, let me ask you this: The person you thought Naruto was. What would he do in this situation?”

Hinata thought about it, and she realized slowly what the woman across from her meant. That person she’d admired…. even if he was a false person, an embodiment of ideas… he wouldn’t let such a thing get him down. And neither would she!

“Th-thank you!” Hinata gasped out, standing, and she ran from the office. The therapist looked after her and smiled.

Hinata dedicated herself to becoming what she admired. She was going to become a strong ninja.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

Sakura went to Iruka-sensei first, one day after class. “Iruka-sensei,” she said fiercely, “I want to get stronger. What kind of techniques should I specialize in?”

Her Academy teacher was thoughtful. “You don’t have any clan techniques, do you, Sakura?”

Sakura shook her head in shame. “My parents are first-generation Chuunin,” she admitted.

“Well, Sakura,” said Iruka kindly, “you are blessed with great intelligence and fine chakra control. That would normally head you toward being a medic nin, but I take it by your question that you’re looking for more fighting-related abilities.”

Sakura nodded. “There’s nothing wrong with being a medic-nin,” she admitted, “but I want to learn to be a good fighter first. And based on my studies, the only medic nin who really managed to turn her techniques into battle types is -”

“The legendary Tsunade of the Sannin. Who retired and is no longer in the village.” Iruka nodded, frowning. “Well. The other thing you could specialize in is genjutsu.”

Sakura looked up hopefully. 

“Illusions also require enormous intelligence and great chakra control, and they are considered a battle type style of fighting,” said Iruka. “If you’re really dedicated and you’re looking for a teacher… There’s a Chuunin who taught here at the Academy for a while, before she committed her studies privately toward becoming a Jounin. Her name is Yuuhi Kurenai. She’s a genjutsu specialist, and I’m still friends with her. I could introduce you?”

Sakura beamed. “That’d be great!” She lifted her fists in the air in triumph, and Iruka smiled.

Sakura was slowly learning she liked being Inner Sakura more.

-

So Iruka was the middle man, arranging a meeting between Sakura and Kurenai in a training field. Kurenai was a tall, curvy woman with black curls and brilliant crimson eyes. She wore a wrap dress, and carried an air of quiet confidence.

Sakura recognized the surname Yuuhi. It was the surname of the aged man who was headmaster at the Academy. Probably Kurenai’s father.

“So you’re Sakura,” said Kurenai. “Iruka tells me you have great intelligence and excellent chakra control. Your parents are first generation Chuunin with nothing to pass down. But before I decide to take you on as a student… why do you want to be a powerful ninja?”

This would be the deciding factor for Kurenai. Motivation.

Sakura clenched her fists - looked down - looked up. “I’ve always been weak,” she said, iron determination in her eyes. “First I was bullied. Then I was saved by a girl much stronger and more confident than me, and I was always second best to her. Then I had a crush on a boy, and he dismissed and rejected me. My parents nag me and overprotect me because they, like everyone else, see me as weak.

“I’m tired of being dismissed. I’m tired of being looked down on. I’m sick to death of being second best. I want to be strong, damnit!” Sakura yelled, her face twisted, her eyes gleaming in determination.

Kurenai watched her for a moment, silent but sympathetic. “Very well,” she said at last. “I’ll train you on weekdays after school. Let’s see how you do.”

“Really?” Sakura’s eyes widened in surprise. Then she straightened. “Yes, ma’am! I promise I won’t let you down!”

Iron determination filled her. She would not let Kurenai think she was weak, or lacked resolve. All that was behind her now.

-

Sakura went home to her parents that night.

“I’ve gotten Yuuhi Kurenai to train me. I’m going to become a genjutsu specialist,” she said, stoical.

Her parents straightened, her mother even stood up, and she could see pride and worry in their faces.

“That’s wonderful, Sakura, but -”

“I know you overprotect me because you think I need it,” said Sakura without preamble. “You nag me because you worry about me, and the reason you worry so much about me is that you see me as weak. I hope to prove you wrong. I want to show you what a strong ninja I can become, and eventually surpass you.”

They stared after her as she backed up, and then headed up the stairs to her bedroom.

“That girl… I’ve never seen that kind of fire in her eyes before,” said Sakura’s mother wonderingly.

-

Ino’s path was somewhat easier. She was from an established clan with a bloodline ability, so she went to her father for training.

“Father, I want you to train me in the Yamanaka clan abilities,” she said, standing straight and serious in front of him in the Yamanaka flower shop. “All of them.”

Her parents exchanged looks.

“Well, I’m very glad you’ve taken an interest, Ino,” said her father uncertainly. “But…”

Ino frowned, surprised. She had expected this to be easy. “But what?”

“Ino, we’re not sure you have the right mindset to begin serious training,” said her mother. “You know how you and I fight.” Ino’s mother was a stern, stiff, almost stuck-up woman with a personality as big as Ino’s. “But we fight because I worry about you. You spend all your time focused on being popular, on being thin, on being pretty. And there’s nothing wrong with that obsession, necessarily, but it doesn’t align with the personality of a serious kunoichi.”

Ino was genuinely hurt. Had she fallen so far, she wondered?

“I know,” Ino admitted. “I’ve recently come to that realization. And -” She swallowed, choking back her pride. “And I want to change,” she forced out, looking down. “Training hard is the only way I can think of to do that. I want to earn that ear piercing the Yamanaka get when they become a full blooded ninja - really earn it, not just wear it because I passed some stupid Academy test.”

Her parents stared at her for a moment. “Very well,” said her father at last. “We’ll try it.” 

Ino looked up in slow disbelief.

-

Hinata requested a private audience with her father in his office within the vast Hyuuga clan compound. She slid the shoji screen shut and knelt before him on the tatami mats.

“Hinata,” her father intoned. “You wanted to speak to me about something?”

Hinata kept that image of brave optimism and determination in her mind. She looked up, and there was something different in her eyes - something that her father hadn’t seen before. “Father,” she said, “I want to be personally trained in the Hyuuga clan main family arts.”

Her father’s eyebrows rose - steeply. “Hinata, you are no longer even the clan heiress,” he said. “What makes you think you deserve such training?”

Hinata swallowed. She’d come up with the speech to recite beforehand. “Father, I know I’ve been different since Mother passed away.” Her father’s expression became veiled. “I know I became timid and gentle. I haven’t been able to fight anyone seriously. Not my older cousin Neji, not even my little sister Hanabi. I became too afraid of hurting them, of losing them.

“But I want to change,” she said. “And maybe Neji and some of the elders would tell me that’s impossible, that people can’t change. But I want to try, because I believe I can!” She became more confident, channeling her best inner image. “I believe I can change, and I’m going to! I don’t want to be timid and weak anymore! Someday… someday I hope you will see me as worthy of clan heiress status again!” she forced out.

Her father looked at her sternly for a moment - and then he gave a small smile. Hinata was stunned. “I did hope taking your status away would motivate you,” he admitted. “It’s a bit late, but I suppose it has.” He looked thoughtfully amused. “Very well. We will try it. But you must maintain this more confident, determined, and aggressive personality, Hinata. Or the training will stop.

“Do we understand each other?”

Hinata nodded, holding onto that unfamiliar unwavering determination. Without it, she knew she would drown, but with it, she believed she could swim.

-

And so Hinata, Ino, and Sakura began. They trained every afternoon after school with their respective tutors. Ino and Sakura stopped dieting and began eating huge meals, always tired out after training. Appearances became less important. So did social lives.

They devoted themselves full-throttle to their training, and by focusing so fiercely on something else they forgot their heartbreak.

They trained in their respective arts, and then any personal training for children in Konoha also included Zen training. They would read and practice different aspects of Zen, and were encouraged to keep Zen journals full of things they had learned.

They hit the ground at a running start, and so it began.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

“Step one for a genjutsu specialist is learning how to spot another person’s genjutsu and break out of it,” said Kurenai out in their training field. “We are going to get you ready for that first.”

“So you’re going to put me under a genjutsu?” said Sakura, tensing in something like fear. 

“I’ll give you a hint, Sakura.” The Kurenai in front of her smiled. “You’re already in one.”

Sakura’s eyes widened.

“Now let me walk you through the steps. Notice flaws in your surrounding environment. What gives the illusion away? I’ve given you big, obvious things to observe, since you’re just in the beginning stages.” 

Sakura swallowed, and looked around anxiously.

“Keep calm, Sakura,” said Kurenai. “The most important thing for a genjutsu specialist is to always remain calm, and never give anything away. Practice this from the beginning, because it’s an important step - first in forming an illusion, but second in making sure the enemy doesn’t know they’re under an illusion until it’s too late.”

Sakura nodded, took deep breaths, and tried to remain calm. She looked around. “The water in that brook isn’t moving,” she said after a while. “And there was a tree standing next to me that’s no longer there.”

“Very good,” said Kurenai with a small smile. “Now, disrupt the flow of your chakra and break out of the illusion.”

Sakura, with superb chakra control, put her hands in the hand seal and disrupted her own chakra easily. Privately, Kurenai was impressed. Usually that technique took a while for a user to get down.

The illusion rippled and broke, and Kurenai was revealed to be standing behind instead of in front of Sakura. Kurenai had a kunai to Sakura’s throat that Sakura hadn’t even noticed. She gasped and stilled, sweating, her hands trembling.

“You can see the usefulness, I’m sure?” said Kurenai calmly, removing the kunai and stepping backward. “You can hide yourself, or you can make your enemy attack someone who’s not really there. Both quite good methods of controlling someone under a genjutsu.

“Incidentally, that technique you used to disrupt your chakra? You can touch someone and disrupt their chakra as well, thereby breaking a teammate out of an illusion in the field.”

Soon, Sakura would walk into the field and first thing immediately start looking for the genjutsu. Of course, Kurenai never told her again when she was under a genjutsu, and her genjutsu became increasingly harder to spot. Calm, Sakura learned, really was important. It was vital both in chakra control and in environmental observation.

She slowly began to break out of harder and harder genjutsu as time passed. She was still fiery, but she became calmer, reflecting Kurenai’s eerie but determined sort of calm. The sort of calm that marked a genjutsu practitioner.

-

“Your first technique is Mind Body Switch,” said Ino’s father, in a darkened training room at the back of the Yamanaka Compound.

Ino raised her hand. “Question? Why are we training in such a gloomy place?”

“Because it mimics an ANBU interrogation room where I work,” said her father. “And also because taking out external stimuli makes it easy to concentrate on this particular style of ninjutsu.

“As you know, the Yamanaka specialize in mind reading and body control. Your first technique, the Mind Body Switch, will combine the two. It’s more useful during interrogations or hostage situations than it is for a battle, but it’s a good, simple place to get you started.

“In order to do the Mind Body Switch, you have to be in a straight line across from your victim, or you have to have some sort of tie connecting you to your victim. You make the hand seal and form the technique. Your mind leaves your own body, your own body slumps into unconsciousness, and instead you enter the victim’s mind and body.

“You can then read their mind. You can also make their body do anything you want, since their own mind is no longer in control. However, remember one important thing - with Mind Body Switch, whatever physical damage is inflicted on the body is mimicked in your own. So if you kill the victim during Mind Body Switch, you also die. Your own body, meanwhile, is vulnerable unless protected by a teammate during Mind Body Switch - and if your body is killed, your victim also dies.

“Do we understand each other?” Her father looked at her seriously.

Ino nodded, unusually quiet.

So Ino’s father made Shadow Clones, and he made her fight them and do two things - first, strategize so she could form a connection with the physical clone who was trying to keep away from her and fight erratically. Then, enter the body and successfully read the mind. 

“This will require a keen observation of strategy and human psychology,” her father warned.

Not only did Ino practice this through fighting, she also started reading big tomes of psychology and ninja strategy. Over time, as she perfected the Mind Body Switch, she became darker and craftier. Her previous smug, bossy personality also returned.

-

“In order to perfect our style of taijutsu fighting, Gentle Fist, which then leads into higher levels of Hyuuga techniques,” said Hinata’s father on the clan sparring mat, “you must first perfect our Byakugan eyes.

“As you know, the Byakugan eyes, when activated, have an almost 360 degree field of vision. There is one blind spot, in the back of your head, and your enemies must never find that out. The Byakugan eyes can also see long distances and through cover, can see chakra coils and through techniques and genjutsu illusions, and a true Byakugan master can even tell if a person is lying by looking into the details of their face.

“You must first master the Byakugan before moving on to anything else. Your eyes must be perfect. You must be able to see amazing distances, you must be able to see through any cover, you must be able to look all the way around yourself - you, Hinata, if you are to be clan head as is your goal, must be able to tell if a person is lying by looking into their face.

“More meaningfully, your observation of chakra coils, tenketsu points, nerves and muscles, must be precise and exact. Only then can you become a Gentle Fist master.” 

So Hinata’s father would put her through exercises. She would activate the Byakugan, her silvery violet eyes gaining intense looking pupils and the veins around them bulging with chakra. 

She would then spend hours in the compound garden, looking to the grass for the tiniest of insects, remotest forms of life, until her eyes and her head hurt. 

She would look through increasingly heavier cover brought in by her father, to the point where she eventually had to see through an airtight titanium box and describe in detail the ball inside.

Branch family members would be sent across the village and she would have to describe what they were doing.

Her father - the most impassive and expert of liars - would tell her something, and she would have to look into his face and tell him whether or not he was lying. She would have to look into his chakra coils and point at different tenketsu points, nerves, and muscles he named. Her knowledge of anatomy, gained through extracurricular reading, must be exact.

Her father gave her every exercise he could possibly think of. Hinata was not an immediate genius, but she worked hard and never gave up - as she’d promised herself - and slowly, she improved.

Her father was privately surprised. He had expected Hinata to give up, as she always had before.

But Hinata was determined. She was still kind, even idealistic, but she formed the sort of calm determination expected of a Hyuuga heir.

-

Sakura’s Zen Diary

The Noble Eightfold Path is a set of morals to follow for all Buddhist practitioners. Reading about it made me reflect on a lot of parts of the teachings that I don’t really follow at this point in my life.

There are all the usual ones: don’t kill, don’t rape, don’t steal, don’t indulge too much in addictive substances. But then there were others that made me think.

Right Speech, for example, means “abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, and from idle chatter.” I don’t follow this at all, and that troubles me. I’ve spent so much of my life playacting, and insulting and judging others, separating them and gossiping about them. I’m sitting here realizing I’m very judgmental. Something I need to work on, I think.

Another part of the Eightfold Path I need to work on following: I should not harm other people or living things, even when I get angry. (I need to find a better way to vent my anger besides punching people or yelling at them.)

Luckily, in Buddhism, the true intent to do better and follow Buddhist teachings - trying your hardest - it counts for a lot. 

The only thing I wonder is how the teaching not to harm or kill tallies with ninja life. For example, what if someone is trying to kill your friend? Do you kill them in defense then?

-

Ino’s Zen Diary

One of the things I found interesting in this first section of the reading is the concept of “dukkha” or “suffering.” Suffering is an incorrect translation. Dissatisfaction is said to be a better word. 

Dukkha is the way we cling to physical, real-life things, things that are only temporary. Material goods, temporary pleasant experiences, temporary negative experiences, even the desire to cling to one life itself.

Dukkha teaches that these things will not make us satisfied, and that only by letting go of them can we reach the blissful state of Nirvana. By practicing mindfulness and meditation, we can recede these interests and accept life as it is, not as we want it or don’t want it to be. This is what the Four Noble Truths teaches us. That we must simply empty our mind of desires and exist for a while, without getting caught up in all the minutiae, the keeping up with the next door neighbor, and the texts, messages, and phone calls.

I’ve always been really focused on material goods, so I thought this sounded like bullshit at first. But I tried not focusing on material things for a while - I tried meditating and doing other relaxing things the teachings point toward, self hypnosis, ASMR - and I tried not going shopping or anything else for a while, turning my phone off, and it was really very relaxing. I just sort of zoned out and listened to meditative music and didn’t think about anything, and I felt a lot happier.

I also noticed I haven’t felt any worse since I stopped worrying about popularity and what other people think. In fact, I may actually have felt better.

It’s weird how all these things that are supposed to make us feel better instead stress us out.

-

Hinata’s Zen Diary

I was interested in this section on the teachings involving rebirth and karma.

Rebirth was comforting to me. As someone who has always feared the violence of ninja life, including death, it was comforting to me the idea that there is no “true” death - only the ever changing self who passes through different existences.

Zen teaches that even those enlightened into Nirvana reincarnate, so they can then teach enlightenment to other people.

Karma, meanwhile, was important to me because it means that we do not need to punish people for bad deeds. Someday, in one of their lives, that bad deed will come back to get them. We reap what we sow. Our bad deeds are given back to us by the universe.

Conversely, being kind is actually a good thing - even for a ninja - because good deeds are also rewarded. Your good deeds are given back to you over lifetimes by the universe.

So it’s fair. Each person gets back exactly what they did. No more, no less. And they can change. If they do good things, their karma will change. Redemption is possible.

I can really appreciate that. Zen also teaches a kind of calm I can really appreciate - the meditation and other such relaxing practices have helped me a lot. Strangely, instead of making me weaker, they have strengthened my resolve and given me more energy.

I can see why Neji is so intent on this, is what I’m saying, even though maybe I’m getting different things from it than he is.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

“You have broken out of genjutsu,” said Kurenai. “Your next goal is to form genjutsu yourself.” Sakura nodded determinedly. “We start with simple disguising genjutsu - you make any manner of sensory mirages to trick the victim. Meanwhile, you attack them from a different place - and preferably kill them on the first try, before they break out of the illusion.

“Later, you will learn layered genjutsu so this is not as necessary. But for now, mastering the quick kill is vital. Therefore, I will teach you all the ways available to any ninja that can kill a person instantly.”

Genjutsu was difficult and complicated. It required ridiculously precise chakra control that filtered into the victim’s cerebral nervous system without them realizing it. You also had to be imaginative, precise, and thoughtful on the spot - any little mistake in the illusion could instantly give it away.

Sakura made mistakes and imprecise genjutsu a lot at first.

But once she’d mastered that, what was harder was keeping an illusion up while attacking the victim - quite apart from the precision it took to kill a person instantly. Sakura had to juggle focusing on all these different things at once.

Luckily, Sakura had a fiery determination to win and a vast mind. So she found the challenge more pleasant than discouraging.

-

“Your next technique is a multiple person version of Mind Body Switch,” Ino’s father told her. “The Mind Clone Switch. You can take over a whole squad full of people at once, and unlike with the simple Mind Body Switch, this does not require a straight line. The only problem is -”

“Let me guess. It’s a lot more complicated,” said Ino flatly.

Her father suppressed a smile. “Well, yes. You have to form a mental connection with each and every victim, connect those victim’s minds to each other, and then leave your body while floating in empty space, manipulating them. And you have to do it all in a matter of seconds. It’s difficult and it feels bizarre, trust me.”

Ino took it in steps. First forming all mental connections. Then connecting them to each other. Then floating in empty space, a weird out of body experience. Then looking downward at the victims and practicing reading different minds, or making different bodies do simple movements.

She had to master each technique in turn before she put it all together into the Mind Clone Switch.

-

“Now that your Byakugan is advanced,” said Hinata’s father, “we move to a complete mastery of the Gentle Fist, or Jyuuken, taijutsu style. 

“Jyuuken users fight using circular movements, and deceptively gentle, graceful taps and touches that inflict extensive damage. We channel chakra into our fingers, and close a person’s tenketsu points - using our Byakugan eyes to see them - thereby inflicting extensive damage to all internal organs near each tenketsu point. A simple touch from a true Hyuuga can literally kill you. Hence, Gentle Fist.

“Incidentally, you can also use Jyuuken strikes to tap an injured area and heal it again - and you can use a Jyuuken strike to disrupt a ninjutsu in midair. I will be teaching you both techniques.”

Hinata sparred with her father, and he was merciless.

He knocked her down countless times with fake taijutsu taps. Paused and showed her the correct way to do a stance or a move. Attacked mercilessly again.

They separately also learned chakra related Jyuuken strikes, which they could not use in spars without killing each other.

Hinata was knocked down a lot, but she was slowly growing into her new persona, and she continually bounced back up like a rubber ball with fresh optimism and determination, a little smile on her face. Slowly, she became comfortable with fighting faster and harder, and her fighting became increasingly complex.

-

Sakura’s Zen Diary

In this section of the reading, I came across the idea of the “beginner’s mind.”

The idea is that when a person begins, they have nothing - no arrogance or self-centeredness, no feelings of accomplishments, no judgments or assumptions. The idea in Zen is that this is how everyone should be. Everyone should have the beginner’s mind.

For the beginner, the possibilities are endless. For the expert, they are few.

In other words, the people who admit they know little, and stop trying to be judgmental or arrogant, are actually the closest to Zen.

I’ve always taken great stock in my academic grades, for example and, for example, been judgmental toward people who don’t follow the rules. So this was a really interesting exercise for me, because it made me admit that I know very little - and then it told me that this was actually a good thing.

Not to see yourself as an expert, and instead to see yourself as a continual learner, is important.

-

Ino’s Zen Diary

This section of the reading was interesting to me because it discussed patience and acceptance.

When we meditate, for example, stray thoughts or patterns of thought will come. And we shouldn’t fall into those patterns, but we should be grateful because - so the theory goes - without impure thoughts there can be no attainment of pure thought.

So we should be grateful for the “mind weeds,” and not get impatient or angry with ourselves for having them. The idea is to be grateful for them, and then let them go. To practice patience. Gratefulness, I’ve found, is actually a really great feeling, which is interesting.

The second part of the reading talked about accepting things the way they are. That doesn’t mean necessarily to put up with watching other people be hurt in front of us, for example. But we have to recognize that people and life are imperfect, with both good and bad inside them.

And we should not berate people for being imperfect, which I have to admit I do a lot.

-

Hinata’s Zen Diary

The idea that meditation is imperfect from this section was very important to me.

I think I felt like if I didn’t have a completely empty mind for all of my meditation, I was inferior in some way. I worried about that. 

But in this section, it was taught that calmness during meditation is more important than emptiness. Thoughts can come, and we should just let them go and watch them drift on by.

I tried this, and it was much more relaxing than struggling to keep an empty mind all the time.


	6. Chapter 6

6.

“Your next exercise,” said Kurenai, “will be to put the cerebral nervous system to sleep and also to inflict direct damage to it.

“This is trickier than ordinary genjutsu, because instead of giving the system an image, you’re shutting it down into a sleep cycle. Once you have the cerebral nervous system mastered and sensed out through this exercise, damaging it in various ways should become easier.”

Kurenai would make clones and Sakura would practice on them. They kept still at first, so she could feel out the cerebral nervous system better. It took her many weeks of sensing and some complicated maneuvering to figure out which levers to pull - so to speak in chakra - to put a person to sleep.

Kurenai then made her fight the clone and put the system to sleep while concentrating on a fight, which was even harder.

Her final exercise was in damaging the cerebral nervous system directly. This was what the genjutsu user affected, so for a genjutsu user this was the most direct form of attack. Which part of the system she attacked depended on what she was trying to do. Nerve damage and memory loss were common modes of attack for a genjutsu user.

Watching her Sensei’s clone slump over, ruined, Sakura felt cold and frightened, as though for the first time she understood what genjutsu was all about.

Like with sending mirages, this she could do without being remotely close to the victim.

-

“This is your first serious fighting ninjutsu,” said Ino’s father, and Ino brightened, interested. “Mind Body Disturbance. It is a form of body control, as though you are a spider controlling bodies like flies on your webbed strings.

“This is a different mode of attack than, say, Mind Body Switch. In Mind Body Disturbance, you don’t leave your own body to take control, and therefore the people you control can die and your own body will remain unharmed. No straight line is required, so it’s rather like Mind Clone Switch. 

“And while in Mind Body Switch, you’re in control and can kill through another’s body, in Mind Body Disturbance, the victim’s mind is still active while their body is not. So they can watch themselves kill their closest friend, and not be able to do anything to stop it.”

Ino was not remotely fazed. She raised an eyebrow, interested, smirking. “Okay. Let’s try it.”

Mind Body Disturbance turned out to be one step above Mind Clone Switch. You still had to connect to each and every individual mind, but this time you manipulated them from the safety of your own body. Ino would pull fingers and make people do this or that, practicing on her father’s clones. She practiced until she could do it from a good distance away.

It was definitely her most useful technique in a fight.

-

“You have come far in Jyuuken,” said Hinata’s father, and she beamed with pride; it was the first compliment he had ever paid her. “As you have come so far in Byakugan eyes and Gentle Fist, your next technique is Divine Sixty-Four Strikes. It is a technique where with great speed you close down all sixty-four tenketsu points before the victim can react, killing them almost instantly.

“You will practice on clones.”

Speed and power was key here. Hinata had to attack all the clone’s tenketsu points before the clone could react, and this was difficult because the clone she was fighting was a weaker extension of her father. And he was without mercy.

It took her some time to master completing Sixty-Four Strikes before her father went to block her.

-

Sakura’s Zen Diary:

In this section, I was comforted by the idea of trying as succeeding.

In my efforts to be a better person - as in most other things - I’m very perfectionistic. I’m determined, but I feel like I have to do it all exactly right all the time and never make a mistake. I’m too idealistic.

Zen warns against being too idealistic. There’s nothing wrong with idealism, but if you’re too perfectionistic in your fiery ideals - as I often am - then you will always come up short. What you want will never mirror reality.

So according to Zen, to truly try at something is to already have succeeded in something. Effort is emphasized. Effort in itself is success. I guess I should go a bit easier on myself.

-

Ino’s Zen Diary:

I’ve always seen bowing as a sign of submission. One person bows lower than another. A sign of rank. I have never liked bowing low to people.

But Zen takes a more philosophical view toward bowing that really got me to think. You bow nine times after zazen meditation, but this doesn’t just show respect for the Buddha. According to Zen teachings, it also signifies respect for oneself.

It’s not a sign of submission. It’s a sign of respect. Mutual respect. I guess I never thought of it that way before, that respect and submission are different things.

I suppose I could do with being a little more respectful toward people who obviously know a lot. After all, I want people to listen to me when I know a lot.

-

Hinata’s Zen Diary:

I was interested by this section’s teaching that constant meditation is not the way to practice Zen. It is excitement for a fad, and it is exhausting.

The teaching goes like this. Some people - I can think of certain clan elders and of my older cousin Neji, a great espouser of fate - go and sit on top of a mountain and do nothing but meditate all day. That is not true Zen. It is an exhausting kind of excitement.

True Zen is practicing the Zen mindset in everyday life - being compassionate toward others and open minded, for example - and meditating whenever we feel we need to, or perhaps once a week. We don’t have to meditate all the time to become true Zen masters.

I’ve always thought of all those people I mentioned earlier as masters of philosophy and spirituality, right about everything. So it was interesting watching them dethroned for me, in a sense, as somewhat spiritually immature.


	7. Chapter 7

7.

“Now that you’ve mastered the nervous system,” said Kurenai, “your next step is to be able to manipulate it.”

Sakura raised a hand, confused. “Uh… don’t I already do that?”

“You give the victim’s system false sensory information,” said Kurenai. “But what I’m talking about now is a little bit more complex. Limb and head movement. You’re not a Yamanaka - you can’t control other people down to the finest detail. But you can make them do basic movements against their own will. 

“We will focus on the most useful methods of attack: binding genjutsu, and limb and head control.”

This type of genjutsu involved, again, flipping different switches in the Kurenai clone’s head, so to speak, and seeing what each one did. The movements Sakura created at first were mechanical and jerky. Binding genjutsu was simple enough; limb and head control was harder, and often left her exhausted after each practice session.

Still, it was a type of long distance fighting that could potentially prevent close distance fighting - which she had less experience in - and so she worked hard on it.

-

“Mind Body Reading is your next technique,” said Ino’s father, “mind reading as long as you can look the other person in the eye. Deadly useful in fights and battles.

“We start by having you read the mind of a placid, unmoving clone. Then we move to fighting clones.”

Mind Body Reading was difficult because Ino was used to putting her own mind into another’s in order to read their mind - she was used to mind reading through body transfer. This was significantly harder, because she had to enter their mind through her pupil-less blue eyes, without leaving her own body. Projection without projection.

Mastering mind reading while still was hard enough. Mastering it while fighting was significantly harder. But once she had a lock on somebody’s mind, reading their movements became much easier.

-

“I have a question for you,” said Hinata’s father. “All of what we have covered so far is close distance fighting. What if you encounter a long distance attack?” He waited.

“Well…” said Hinata slowly, uncertainly. “Jyuuken blows can cut through ninjutsu, and the Byakugan can see through techniques and genjutsu…”

“And what about long distance attacks those techniques are not effective for?”

Hinata paused, and shook her head. She didn’t know.

“The Hyuuga are mainly close distance fighters. We can’t master both close and long distance, just like a long distance fighter is not usually also a master of close distance. But we do have ways to protect ourselves from long distance attacks - we have impenetrable dome shields, the Kaiten, and we have a technique that can cut through chakra and other prisons, the One Body Blow.

“But in order to do those techniques, you first must unlock the Hyuugas’ second bloodline.”

Hinata cocked her head in confusion. “Second bloodline?”

“The Hyuuga have two bloodlines,” said Hinata’s father, all business. “The first, more obvious, is the Byakugan eyes. But the second is more subtle. We can emanate chakra from all our tenketsu at once, and from select bodily tenketsu.

“You can see,” he said with a small smile, as Hinata’s face lit up in realization and delight, “how this could create dome shields and body cutting techniques.

“But we’re not going to jump to that yet. First you focus on emanating chakra from all tenketsu, and from select bodily tenketsu. Only then can you master other high-level Hyuuga techniques.”

Hinata turned out to be surprisingly good at this. She had fine chakra control where she didn’t have natural taijutsu mastery or aggression, and so this part of her training did not take her very long at all.

-

Sakura’s Zen Diary:

Two things about this section of reading really interested me.

First, talking more about mistakes, Zen teaches that mistakes are actually things to be grateful for. They should encourage instead of discourage us, because they mean we learned something. As someone who’s as hard on others about mistakes as I am on myself, I’d never really thought of it this way before.

Mistakes are not always bad things, I suppose.

I also have spent much of my life repressing parts of myself, and I’m still learning how to undo that without hurting other people. But Zen meditation teaches that to feel and express something - without acting on it, without over-analyzing it or worrying about it, both of which I tend to do - is to truly heal from it.

In other words, letting yourself feel something without repression is a way of healing from it.

-

Ino’s Zen Diary:

Zen teaches that it’s important to study and interpret the self, not just to express the self.

I’m good at the expression of self part - I’m very forward. The study and interpretation part…? Not so much. I’ve always kind of thought of that as navel gazing, as useless.

But apparently it’s an integral part of Zen. I’m torn on this, because I never like to overthink things. I see it as negative.

So do you study yourself without overthinking yourself?

-

Hinata’s Zen Diary:

I really appreciated one teaching in this section of reading, which is giving as a form of non-attachment to material things (which is supposed to be the Buddhist ideal).

In other words, when we give something away to another person, we are doing more than being compassionate. We are saying we are not attached to this material good. Instead, we are focused on something far more valuable, which is kindness to another.

I didn’t expect such stern spiritual readings to make me so much more confident in my own inner wisdom and kindness. The struggle now is to integrate optimistic self confidence with quiet wisdom and kindness.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

“Your next piece of training will be in field-wide and layered genjutsu,” said Kurenai. “Field-wide genjutsu affects multiple victims at once. Layered genjutsu is a bit more complex. It involves layering illusions on top of one another, so that the victim breaks out of one illusion only to fall straight into the next one.

“For non-immediate kills involving fellow ninja, or for fighting a fellow genjutsu user, the ability to use layered genjutsu is absolutely essential. For fighting more than one person at a time, the ability to use field-wide genjutsu is also absolutely essential.”

Sakura nodded seriously, determined.

“So,” said Kurenai. “Let’s begin.”

Kurenai would make multiple clones and have Sakura filter chakra into their nervous systems all as one - first as they were all standing in one place, and then as they were all moving around. Sakura passed out a few times from chakra depletion, but her chakra slowly got stronger. And Kurenai kept testing her, creating more and more clones to attack.

Layered genjutsu was done, at first, with no clones. Sakura focused on layering chakra in an empty arena, layers on top of layers, and then she practiced on actual clones - first while still, and then while moving around. This part was difficult because all of the layered illusions had to be imaginative and perfect within a few seconds of each other.

It took her quite a while to get this section of genjutsu fighting down.

-

“Your next technique is Mind Body Transmission Technique,” said Ino’s father. “You can sense other minds in your area, as well as telepathically communicate with various minds - even to the point of projecting images. And you can set up telepathic communication links, so that different people can mentally talk to each other, very useful in team situations.”

“Me and my teammates can talk to each other without ever opening our mouths!” Ino realized, impressed, straightening. “And sensing other minds would be useful in stealth and genjutsu situations, especially if I get precise enough that I can sort out the location of each mind.”

“You can see the usefulness,” said Ino’s father, smiling. “Projecting images to other minds also goes on the verge of a psychic attack, rather like a genjutsu user can do, but let’s not get to that point in your training quite yet. We’ll focus on Mind Body Transmission first.”

Ino was determined to master this one. She spent hours with her father’s clones, trying to set up telepathic links without looking. She and her father would even go out to empty fields; the clones would hide and she would have to find them telepathically.

Precision was key for Ino. Far from her borderline laziness of years before, she would not rest until she could pinpoint the exact location of each and every individual mind she sensed. Then all she had to do was find them, looking directly into their eyes - and read their mind.

-

“Your first defensive technique against long distance assaults will be Kaiten,” said Hinata’s father. “It involves twirling in a circle and emanating chakra from all your tenketsu at once. This creates an impenetrable dome shield, surrounding you and anyone close to you from all sides from any form of assault.”

Like with Gentle Fist, grace and precision was necessary to create the Kaiten dome. Hinata would twirl like a ballerina, light on the feet and graceful, arms lifted on either side, emitting silvery blue chakra in a perfect sphere all around her. Also like with a ballerina, the twirl looked deceptively simple, but took much training to perfect.

Hinata passed out a lot at first trying to maintain the perfect Kaiten. Emitting chakra from all 64 tenketsu at once, even for a few seconds, took extraordinary endurance, especially when movement was required at the same time. But slowly, her chakra endurance improved.

And so did her Kaiten.

-

Sakura’s Zen Diary:

The teachings in this section said that though Zen practice is “rigid,” the Zen mind itself is “informal.” In other words, the truest knowledge is instinctive, not intellectual, and we already have it. We already have both the positive and negative, everything necessary, inside of us.

In other words, the truest knowledge is not intellectual.

This was a big one for me, because I’ve always seen knowledge - so bookish with such good academic grades - as something one must find, study, and master. The idea that there is an instinctive kind of knowledge, one each person already possesses but closes themselves off from, was an interesting one to me.

The readings in this section also taught that there is no preparation, only acts. Everything we do is an act. If we are preparing, we are doing something already. So we must always decide which acts are truly important in our lives.

Worrying, for example - which I do a lot - is an act. You are already taking up some of your life by doing it. So you must decide if it’s worth it to you to take up your time doing that thing: worrying, or obsessing, or being angry, or whatever.

That really made me think.

-

Ino’s Zen Diary:

The teachings about transience in this section really interested me. 

Zen teaches that everything in life is transient, impermanent, and imperfect - including ourselves.

The point is to enjoy the moment while it lasts, because even we are ever-changing, and that particular moment will never happen again.

To have a religion outright tell you that gets you to reflect.

-

Hinata’s Zen Diary:

Life and death are as one in the enlightened Nirvana state. Once you experience enlightenment, you accept existence as it is, and life and death - the constant cycle - they become as one to you. You begin to see things as they truly are.

I really aspire to this.

But what surprised me about what I read was that - contrary to many Hyuuga teachings I have learned - Nirvana is no deep intellectual understanding. It’s not some complex state to achieve.

Rather, it’s a focus on open-mindedness and the ever-changing self, a focus on the breathing and the body and the moment.

It is a peaceful state, rather than some complex, impossible-to-achieve state of ultimate bliss. It is a realization that stays with you, not a momentary experience of rapture.

Nirvana is to accept the constant cycle of life, death, and rebirth as one, with a simple kind of joy in the act of existing, and touching people’s lives, and having our lives touched by others. With a final acceptance that we don’t ever know it all, or have all the answers, and that is okay.

To accept.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

“Your final lesson,” said Kurenai, “will be in using genjutsu to have enemies kill each other. Thus saving you a lot of unnecessary trouble. Each of them will be made to think the other person is you during a fight. This means giving two other fighters dual mirror images of yourself.

“You will practice with my clones."

Sakura practiced battling clones, tricking Kurenai clones into thinking they were fighting Sakura when they really were not. Kurenai was observant, clever, and inventive - so the perfect opponent to perfect this technique on. It took some doing.

When she saw the end result - two Kurenais killing each other - she was more prepared and hardened against how disturbing it would look. But it was still just that. Disturbing.

Much of genjutsu was disturbing, she had learned - Kurenai had put her through an entire week-long unit where her sole genjutsu goal was to imagine and inflict the most disturbing sensory mirages possible onto a clone. From the distance of a whole training field away from them.

At the end, Kurenai stood before Sakura in their usual training field. “In these past three years,” she said, “I have taught you everything I set out to teach you. Now it is time for us to go our separate ways. I must take the exam for Jounin, you the exam for Genin. From here, you have all the main techniques and can practice furthering your genjutsu ability in your own time.

“Sakura, I will admit,” Kurenai smiled, “I have had many genjutsu students over the past few years, but you are the only one who made it through every trial and tribulation, who was weeded out past all the unlikelies.

“You can tell your parents that. And you should be proud of yourself.”

Sakura smiled back.

-

“Mind Body Attack, your final technique,” said Ino’s father, “is a form of psychic attack. However, unlike a genjutsu user’s form of mental assault - which focuses on specific areas of the brain - you can attack any or all parts of the brain directly, as long as you have eye contact, and since the brain runs everything else you can do all kinds of things. You can kill them almost instantly. You can shut down different parts of their brain. Anything.

“This and the body control in Mind Body Disturbance are your most deadly forms of battle type assault.

“The only thing with this technique is, it really has to be the victim’s eye you’re looking into, as they exist before you in real time. Not a clone’s or a mirage's, and there can be no eye covering mask.”

“So basically, the same rules apply as in mind reading,” interpreted Ino.

“Essentially,” her father agreed.

Ino had great fun, smirking and deadly, messing around with her father’s clones. She perfected all kinds of psychic attacks with something a bit like glee, except calmer. She learned what happened if she attacked different parts of the brain. What took more chakra endurance was shutting down all of the brain at once in an instant kill.

She practiced her chakra endurance by “quick kill” mind entry, and also by manipulating large numbers of clones with Mind Body Disturbance.

“Ino,” said her father, “I have taught you all I can teach you. You have all the basics. From here, it is up to you to improve your Yamanaka clan techniques, but you are essentially already a Yamanaka. Congratulations.”

Smug and self satisfied, as confident and lazy as a cat, Ino bowed slightly in respect for her father and teacher. She was calm, she was quieter than she had been, and she was strong.

\- 

“Your final technique is the One Body Blow,” said Hinata’s father. “You emanate chakra in a forward cutting motion from all your tenketsu at once to cut through chakra prisons and other methods of binding.”

After everything else she had mastered, this was relatively simple for Hinata. She just had to learn how to form cutting chakra and throw all her chakra into one set of bindings, and she had the rest of the technique mastered already.

Hinata’s father reflected thoughtfully - she had started out as a weakling, but ended appearing rather like a genius. To master the One Body Blow that quickly, at twelve years old…

“Hinata,” he said at last, at the end of her training. She turned to him, curious and obedient. “You have fearlessly mastered many high-level Hyuuga main clan arts. You are more confident, you are more aggressive, and you are, I think, less afraid of loss.”

Hinata nodded simply, determined.

“You will fight Hanabi again.” Hinata’s eyes widened. Her father smiled. “I think you deserve the title of clan heiress back.”

-

Sakura’s Zen Diary:

One last set of reflections on what I have learned from my Zen studies.

My biggest final takeaway is to not overthink, judge, or over-philosophize things. Instead, I should experience, act more on instinct.

That doesn’t mean I have to stop thinking, imagining, or being intelligent. It simply means I should stop being so strict, worrying, and narrow-minded.

Also, acting on instinct does not mean giving in to anger, violence, or other forms of harm. I can feel those things, but I shouldn’t let them control me or my actions. This is also important.

-

Ino’s Zen Diary:

My biggest final takeaway from my Zen studies is to live in the moment.

I’ve become rather thoughtful and philosophical, I suppose. I’ve been musing about that a lot lately. I have to be ready every moment - ready to fully participate in everyday life.

I must always practice in-the-moment mindfulness. Less attachment to material goods, more joyful participation in the simpler and more important things. A good laugh, a nice meal with family, a moment of fun.

-

Hinata’s Zen Diary:

My last lesson from Zen Buddhism was the truly empty mind.

I have been practicing meditating, letting thoughts come and go, until now I feel I have achieved a state of full emptiness. And it is bliss. Not to dwell on disappointments, not to feel afraid. Not to think of anything.

But just to peacefully exist.

This regular housecleaning of the mind is encouraged, and I find it helps me form a more calm, determined, kind, and peaceful mindset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last Academy training chapter. It is, however, not the last chapter before we get to canon. There is some fallout from all of this that needs to be delved into.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter with Little Mix's "Shout Out to My Ex" playing. I thought it was fitting, considering all this started with their hearts being broken, and now look at them.
> 
> Next chapter, we start into canon.

10.

As they had grown and changed in training and mindset, the girls had grown in other ways as well.

They did have distant friends at the Academy, but heavy days of after-school training did not lend itself to close friendships. Instead they were seen from a distance, almost with intimidation, as tough, confident girls - the kind of girls who always got good grades, both physically and academically. They had a certain distance to them.

None of them had any crushes. Yet again, there was no time. And as they grew and matured, none of the boys at the Academy particularly interested them anymore. They grew from being cold and angry toward Sasuke and Naruto, to being neutral toward them as they got older. Sasuke got colder, more biting and more arrogant; Naruto’s intelligence never improved, and as the years passed he grew more angry and obnoxious.

There was no regret there for the girls, nothing to miss. Instead, they came to see their disillusionment and heartbreak with their crushes as a kind of blessing in disguise. Think of who they’d be otherwise! Their pain had made them see some hard truths about the nature of love and romance, and about themselves. It had made them the people they were today.

Any growing kunoichi eventually had to choose a kunoichi outfit, and hobbies were encouraged outside their ninja abilities. Some were better at finding hobbies than others, but like with the home training concerning Zen, hobbies were seen as a kind of way to relax and fight off the insanity that the heavy stress and death of being a ninja could cause. Hinata, Ino, and Sakura, encouraged by how soothing Zen was and also hyper-aware of how deadly their techniques were, made sure to follow this dicture.

Kunoichi outfits and hairstyles had to be practical, yet attractive. There was a kind of balance that had to be made. Hinata, Sakura, and Ino, calm and confident in themselves and determined to be good kunoichi, chose this to perfection. They each chose short hair that went well with their face shapes - practical yet attractive - and kunoichi dresses instead of shirts and pants - practical yet attractive. Each of their outfits was either color neutral, so easy to hide in, or blended in well with the greenery around Konoha and its surrounding countries (rather like Konoha Chuunin vests did).

Sakura had a heart-shaped face, carnation pink hair, and spring green eyes. She chose a long bob that was all one length, just revealing her shoulders, and blunt, wispy bangs. Her kunoichi dress was pastel green, bringing out her eyes. Her chosen hobbies were doing puzzles - from sudoku to crossword to physical puzzles - and writing poetry.

Ino had an oval face, ash blonde hair, and pupil-less powder blue eyes (a sign of her Yamanaka mind-reading heritage). She chose a chin length layered shag with a sweeping side-bang - a cute, short, spiky, cheerful and playful sort of hairstyle. Her kunoichi dress was rose brown. Her chosen hobbies were shopping and partner dancing.

Hinata had a round, curving face, gleaming blue-black hair, and pupil-less silvery violet eyes (a sign of her Hyuuga Byakugan heritage). She chose an A-line angled bob, drifting in a sleek and modern way just past her chin, with no bangs. Her kunoichi dress was icy grey. Her chosen hobbies were baking and flower pressing. 

They had grown, somewhere along the way, from children and into young teenagers.

-

Hinata and Hanabi faced each other on the Hyuuga clan sparring mat for a rematch to decide who became clan heiress. The entire clan was watching, silent and impassive, their father at the head of the room.

“... Begin!” he shouted.

Hanabi flew forward to end the fight in one blow, and Hinata blocked her easily with the broad side of her hand, which had no tenketsu. Hanabi, young and inexperienced though aggressive, paused in surprise.

“I am sorry, Hanabi,” said Hinata, “but I am going to beat you.”

Then she lashed out and struck Hanabi in the abdomen, making her little sister stumble backwards. Hinata almost paused - but no, she was not about to kill the younger sister who looked so much like her late mother. This wasn’t a real fight. It was a spar. And she was a Hyuuga, not the timid weakling of before.

She lashed out again and again, Hanabi backpedaling in surprise and blind panic - then at last she knocked her sister down and poised a knife-hand over her heart. Everyone was staring in surprise, even Hanabi, who had paused lying on the mat, breathing hard in disbelief.

Hinata touched her heart with no chakra. “Killing blow,” she said, all business. “I believe that means I win. Does it not, Father?”

Neji was glaring in disbelief, but Hinata’s father was the only one not surprised. He gave a small smile. “It does, Hinata,” he said. “Congratulations. You are my clan heiress once more.”

Hinata stood, smiled, and bowed low. “Thank you, Father.”

Hanabi shot to her feet, furious. “I don’t believe this!”

“Hanabi -” Hinata began, pained. 

“No! This isn’t fair!” Hanabi shouted, and ran out of the sparring room.

“Hanabi, comport yourself!” their father boomed, but his youngest daughter was already gone. He sighed, staring after her.

Hinata, too, was watching the place her sister had left, sympathetic. She had gained a title, but lost a younger sister - if, she thought as she remembered how Hanabi had always been taught to look down on Hinata, she had ever had a younger sister at all.

The Hyuuga clan was a winner-take-all game, and Hinata was finally learning to play its politics.

Speaking of politics, Neji hurried after Hinata as she left the clan sparring room that afternoon, everyone else filtering out with distant shouts of surprise on how well Hinata had done. “How did you do that?!” he spat, angry and confused, fists clenched. “People do not change, so how did you defeat Hanabi so easily when you were so weak before?”

Hinata looked around. There were too many people here. “Come with me,” she said, and brought Neji back to her set of rooms. Her branch retainer servant bowed, and Hinata said politely, with a kind smile, “Please leave. I have something I must discuss with my cousin in private.”

“Of course, Hinata-sama,” the woman murmured, and left Hinata’s personal apartments. Hinata checked with her Byakugan just to be certain, temple veins bulging, pupils appearing - the woman really was gone. They were alone.

“Neji-nii-san,” said Hinata without pause, “you believe people cannot change because you are stuck in one place all your life as a branch family member. A simple twist of fate kept you and your father from being main family members.”

She stared at him evenly as he scowled, glaring.

“What if I told you that if you supported me as clan head, I could undo branch family practices?” Neji paused in surprise. “Other clans get along just fine without branch family or cursed seal practices. It lowers the Hyuuga to pretend we must rely on others in order to get the same results in terms of member safety. Can we not fight as other clans fight? This is my argument.”

The real reason she wanted the cursed seal gone, of course, was because it was cruel and inhumane. But this would not hold sway with Hyuuga elders, nor was it likely to particularly change Neji’s mind.

“... You would make many enemies,” said Neji cautiously, looking at her hard as if he had never quite seen her properly before.

“If I never make an enemy as a ninja, I will not have been a very good one,” said Hinata evenly, unafraid of the idea of death. “I believe it can be done. The question is: Do you?”

Neji was still just staring at her.

“I want to prove to you, Neji-nii-san,” said Hinata determinedly, “that people’s fates can change. I want to free the caged bird, and release my family members from their pain.

“Obviously, this conversation never happened.”

Neji paused, and bowed, unreadable. “Of course, Hinata-sama.”

It had been a risk, telling Neji. But it turned out to be a worthwhile one. Neji seemed to keep the conversation closely guarded at his heart, never whispering of it to anyone, and he stopped being deliberately cruel to Hinata in the clan spars. Instead, they fought on an even keel, one talented Hyuuga against another.

Hanabi was harder to sway over. Driven partly by fear of being made a branch family member herself, Hanabi never did forgive Hinata for taking that utmost important title away from her. She went from looking down on Hinata, to looking up, and she did not particularly like it.

-

The entire Yamanaka clan had come out in the flowery courtyard centering the Yamanaka clan compound. They stood by proudly, as Ino stood still and unusually quiet, her ear being pierced by her father and the earring put in.

At last, as she felt its weight at her ear, she smiled proudly.

“Normally,” said her father, smiling, “we wait until you are made an official ninja. But as you have mastered the Yamanaka arts, and I cannot see you not becoming a ninja, there is no point in waiting. You are now acknowledged as a Yamanaka.

“We also usually do the ear piercing ceremony in tandem with the Nara and the Akimichi, but somehow, Ino, I do not think you will follow a traditional path.”

There were some chuckles. Ino’s stiff mother smiled wryly in agreement, a rarity.

Ino’s father put his hands on her shoulders. “Congratulations,” he said proudly.

Ino at last smiled and went in for a hug. “... Thanks, Dad.”

-

“What?!”

Sakura stood determinedly before her parents. “I challenge both of you to a fight,” she said fiercely. “I want to show you everything I have learned.”

“Sakura, we’re Chuunin and you’re an Academy student! It’s hardly fair!” said her father, flabbergasted. For once, he and Sakura’s mother were in agreement.

“Absolutely not!” her mother snapped.

“You see me as needing protection!” Sakura argued. “I want to show you that I no longer need it! Please!”

Her parents had passed into Chuunin with no significant special abilities. She knew she could win.

Her parents looked at each other. “... Alright,” they said at last, intending to go easy on her and teach her a lesson.

They went out into the back field behind Sakura’s house, and stood across from each other. Sakura’s mother at last threw a kunai, easily missing Sakura’s ear… and the Sakura before them fazed out.

“Genjutsu! Shit!” Sakura’s father shouted, dispelling them both. Sakura was revealed to be right before them in an attack - Sakura’s mother lashed out in a taijutsu blow that would fell Sakura easily without significantly hurting her - and an invisible body knocked both Chuunin flat on the ground, using the openings they showed reacting to the Sakura before them.

As they hit the ground, that Sakura fazed out as well. Layered genjutsu.

Sakura’s parents were now on the ground, kunai at their throat, one of Sakura’s knees on each of them to hold them down. She was breathing hard, glaring. She stood, putting the knives away.

“You see?” she said. “I am not weak.”

Her parents stood slowly, stunned. “I… I suppose I always just saw you as my little girl, Sakura…” her father admitted.

“But you have come far,” said her mother. “You are a strong kunoichi. Well done.”

Recognition from her tutor - and now from her parents. Sakura brightened, smiling, and then she started cheering, jumping up and down. Her parents smiled, but they were still in a state of shock.

“I can’t imagine what she’ll be like as an adult,” Sakura’s father muttered to her mother on the trek back to the house. “That was terrifying.”


End file.
